by the sword
my dearest, haiku...
wherefore art thou; to assail
thy sonnet's bluster?
enter haiku
Enter the dragon.
This is not about Bruce Lee.
This is about you.
paper haiku
As the wind whispers:
"This author seems unable
to describe a tree."
green
amid the sonnets
I saw haiku in her eyes...
flecks in the iris
vnörr haiku
shälvo uri ut
ultimeda en blantsk.
ut navörr, kom stalt.
preemptive haiku
writing this haiku
will not prevent terrorists
from writing their own
suspended haiku
I hang from this noose,
waiting for you to find me.
I have no regrets.
gale haiku
Off the coast of Greece,
wind conducting its blitzkrieg;
the moon still, untouched.
frozen haiku
this barren wasteland,
warehouse of your emotions
colder than your soul.
binary haiku
Zero, zero, one.
Zero, one, zero, zero;
one, one, one... Zero.
binary haiku (translation)
1.
4;
7... 0.
Translated by Leslie Mösknvorr, noted haiku analyst, Vestibriüm University, 2002.
lunar haiku
here, amid the dust,
the perpetual barrage
of meteorites
repair haiku
So you are broken...
I wish that I could fix you,
but I'm broken too.
homicide haiku
She was stabbed to death.
Notify the next of kin
to claim the body.
haiku for frank
Drunk, smoking bastard...
Frank Sinatra was an ass.
Stiff "tough" white man. Dead.
uninspired haiku
appeals to the muse
conjure no epiphanies,
leaving my page blank.
haiku mandate
The Muse says, "No more
contrivances of drivel
passed off as haiku."
General Mills haiku
Ah... Chex® Morning Mix®.
I could live on that alone
(with coffee, of course).
digression haiku
Meandering, I
appreciate the one who
follows this river.
ohm haiku
as an electron,
the path of least resistance
seems quite attractive.
haiku deconstructed
This is not haiku.
(A seven-syllable line.)
Well, maybe it is.
inane haiku
Witness the Poet:
Embracing the haiku form,
superfluously.
differential haiku (ode to newton's infinitesimal)
One less epsilon
does not a difference make.
Behold, the limit.
departure haiku
my suicide note
only details how to care
for Milton (my cat).
lumbering haiku
I'm walking erect
using my tail for balance
sharp spikes on my back
nourishing haiku
a fine specimen
fluid in a plastic cup
"this is good," she said
mull
shoud I quit my job?
or should I cut to the chase
and just kill myself?
unassuming haiku
Haiku this, buddy.
I got your haiku right here.
Best damn poem I wrote.
m haiku
five
seven
five
(For additional information regarding "m haiku," see Contemporary Reflections on Triangular Symmetry in Beatvibe's All-Night Poetry Lounge.)
puzzling observation
in the haiku form
rare indeed are the footnotes*
* and appendices
shimmer
coin in the fountain...
you did not wish correctly
our fortune is lost
deficit haiku
It's April fifteenth:
Paid for my part of the war.
Oh, wait... We charged that.
Personal Jesus
Shielding my guitar
with adhesive copper tape...
What would Stevie do?
feline haiku
Our cat cannot write
haiku while the birds laugh at
the length of his tail.
exodus of the damned
Whoa... Too many words...
"I've done enough damage here."
(At least for one night.)
basho ltd.
don't dare emulate...
basho's got that copyright
(c) 1690
mantra 575
must not deviate
must not de... (don't distract me)
must not deviate
packaged haiku
NET WT 9 OZ
(255 g)
Serving Suggestion
elusion
water holds the truth
but be wary of its flux
ice, liquid, and steam
unto
without another
the tender soul is a tree
whose fall no one heard
unfinished haiku
I can't write this poem
I'll give you thirteen dollars
if you finish it
DISCLAIMER: The scenario depicted in the above haiku is fictitious. No compensation, monetary or otherwise, is being offered for augmentation or reconstruction of said verse.
presage
uncentered haiku
confers instability
and delinquency
oxygen suite
O haiku
the bastard atom
valence orbitals unfilled
a free radical
O2 haiku
a pair of atoms
their electrons in bondage
kinky molecule
O3 haiku
ozone allotrope
engaging in a threesome
toxic arrangement
O4 haiku
phantom molecule
transient (if possible)
a wisp of theory
O5 haiku
checking my slide rule...
spectral analysis glitch
ghost in the machine
NOTE: In late 2001, Fulvio Cacace and colleagues at the University of Rome La Sapienza announced evidence of a "stable" O4 -- most likely as two loosely bound O2 molecules (ref: nature.com).
hard currency
follow the money
ask Jesus for a dollar
it's in God we trust
it was cold that winter
1983
stupid flowers for susan
we have no cello
...another haiku
compact and poignant
this was to be my opus
alas, 'tis only...
7.refractions
intoxicating...
"let's listen to dots and loops,"
said Miss Modular
epilogue
twenty years later
though I still hear the footsteps
I've stopped looking back
internment
...but on the upside
there's no room to turn over
in a shallow grave
cathartic haiku (a template)
(s)he is so evil
while I am so pure at heart
oh, the injustice...!
limited edition haiku
quantity is all
that matters, and nothing else
here is another
line
sorry to bother,
but the reason I'm calling...
oh, I see... well, uh...
cephalopod haiku
women are like squid
expelling a cloud of ink
covering escape
latex haiku
festering for years
my rash is very itchy
darn, that ointment burns
patronization
denunciations
authoritative and smug
"your art is not art."
puzzling
At the museum
there was no art on the walls...
(No Thomas Kinkades.)
drift
eyes freezing over
snowflakes adorning her lips
dust, on soon to be...
prolonged haiku
another stalemate
as she advanced her queen's rook
"I'm not done," she said.
haiku clarification
was that a haiku?
...those odd noises you uttered
or did you just sneeze?
Haiku.java
class HaikuBuilder {
protected Haiku compose( ) {
return new Hai("ku");
}
}
wary haiku
I say I wouldn't
but given the chance, I might
"Oh... You think so, huh?"
disqualified haiku
my poem would have made
a nice haiku, but it had
an extra sylla
the decrepitude
another gray hair
(she is so in denial...)
"that one's yours, honey"
passage haiku
nether derelicts
reeking of brimstone and rot
using her body
role haiku
efficient and safe
my electric concubine
"Are you satisfied?"
topic
I feel a bit strange
writing poems about your wife
and her firm buttocks
...to which she replied
thinking you love me
keeps you from realizing
how much you hate me
seeking submissives
apply in person
mistress mösknvorr's dungeon
cash only (no checks)
communion
her ghost visits me
unaware that she has passed...
"Jen, we need to talk."
hep
lava lamp décor,
a record on the hi-fi...
sex kitten pounces
Q: Are we not disciples of the Honorable John Ashcroft?
That's right, Booji Boy...
"Duty now for the future."
Pledge your allegiance!
"it's a beautiful world we live in"
de-evolution:
Mr. Ashcroft is DEVO
"give the past a slip..."
...so goaded the spiteful looking glass: seers, behold thy dubious fruits!
withered vines strangled
a host of fragrant blossoms
hindering passage
mistexture
these words did not sell
so I gave up on writing
and started to paint
mack haiku
jus' gimme my beer
I ain't stretchin' no canvas
or writin' no poems
tabled
no more clean scalpels
best hook up another pint
I can't seem to close
set
...the film has been cast
(I had lunch with David Lynch)
"Well... That's your problem."
slammed
kids drinking coffee
reading steven j. bernstein
thinking it's fiction
item #231
my electric bill
behind glass, in a nice matte
passing as fine art
squibs (and nibs)
anti-love letters
seeping into paper cuts
invenomating
pro
disciplinary
devices in her dungeon
blood money sessions
gambit
Ingmar Bergman's Death...
(no, I mean the character)
wary of the knight.
knight
vague chess references
buried in the seventh seal
a gambit indeed
appendages (stumped)
I'm losing your mind
your body in my closet
your voice in my head
revival haiku
I feel the power
compelling me to say, "Damn!"
(The Lord works through me.)
and her sense thereof
"I love you, darling."
then she laughed, "I'm just kidding."
yeah... that was funny
falling (out of love)
bag over her head
as the trap door snaps open
and she drops nine feet
(For analyis, see Falling Resolved - A Brief Footnote in Beatvibe's All-Night Poetry Lounge.)
humid
fruit flies released by
opening the cadaver
"that makes sense," she said
store (in a dry place)
put me in a box
I have lint in my pocket
making a ruckus
cobalt
remnants of a frog...
Dendrobates azureus
(blue poison dart frog)
NOTE: D. azureus is a large, lethally poisonous frog exclusive to the southern part of Surinam in the Sipaliwimi savannah (a dark rainforest). Retail price: approx. $65 (US) ea.
eve's enigma
filling the navel
umbilical to the soul
lint comes from within
v.
in a secret place
loneliness can do strange things
I'm afraid of you
answer: c
a novel is just
a very, very, very,
very long story.
minneapolis
the Dead of winter
wearing large hats and mittens
ice zombies... in heat
characters (with spaces)
File, Save As... "haiku"
Save as type: Word Document
(asterisk dot "doc")
"Well, this is certainly inane, but it could have been a lot worse. I mean, given the title. But, yes... The irony is unmistakable. I mean, to use a product like Word to compose haiku... It's like using a pneumatic socket gun to adjust your eyeglasses, or a fire hose to artificially inseminate a gnat. So, when readers come away with the understanding that Bill Gates is an irritating gnat... Well, who can say that's not beautiful?" ~L. Mösknvorr (noted haiku analyst)
the beholden
she is wrong to think
of her thighs as too heavy
or her breasts too small
15-cent haiku
a dime for this line
and a nickel for this one...
(the last line is free)
fluid
with this poem adrift,
our love letters canonized...
tears you'll never know
monday haiku
driving north to work
mouth agape, left eye still closed
Underworld pounding
premises
the pharmacist's wife
found naked in the garage
her eyebrows confused
spare haiku
he was nine feet long
and had sharp claws on this toes
friday nights, he bowled
no star
someone tried to call
but they were already dead
(back in '82)
eleventh
my chin now brittle
my ringmanship archaic
my heart in question
arrangements
"you go on to hell,
I'll meet you down there later."
who will tend the grounds?
situation
my dominatrix
in the midst of her divorce
forgot our safeword
tolerance
formulae obeyed
syllable count verified
checklist completed
solvent
drinking this water
the ratio of H to O
seems a trifle off
the apportioner
I think I'm clever
because I put words in slots
I think I'm clever
kit haiku
I wrote a sentence,
broke it up among three lines...
wow, this is easy!
lot
ninety-three degrees
I left my wife in the car
(the windows open)
transmission
she spends her evenings
listening to silent sounds...
"That's not what I hear."
dangerous weapon haiku
Italian switchblade
(purchased on the internet)
pearloid grips now stained
pursuant (to)
asked my attorney:
have you written a haiku?
"no, never have I..."
installation
you know my wife died
the book ain't sellin' too well...
how are you doing?
pseudoetry
setting out to write
particularly bad poems
(depleted meter)
geezer (ain't retro)
when I was a kid
our music didn't have bass
but our shorts were short
assemblage haiku
counting syllables
at the expense of all else
-insert five more here-
haiku illustrated
even in haiku
there can be too many words.
I mean... look at this.
pugilist haiku
first fight in five years...
they say she can't last seven
(if it goes past five)
corner
jab ineffective
between the seventh and tenth
lateral movement
corporeal haiku
typical woman:
she has no mind to offer
only a body
epiphany in verdana (confessions of a hack haikuist)
it just doesn't work
when I try to be poignant
look at what happens
zero point nine haiku
0.9 g
LiHCO3
(less one carbonate)
feline agenda
temple cat stretches
sniffs at the burning incense
returns to cat dreams
fit
lesbian pelvis
cloistered behind blue denim
impenetrable
poststruct 3.1
haiku underground
postmodern deconstruction
post under "modern"
hamlet
there is poetry
everywhere, unrefined words
haiku in the wild
y-1
like a yellow car
I are, I are. You are too
(except you be blue)
village haiku
the new number 2:
I could break him if only...
6: be seeing you
stream
beauty on the go...
enable text messaging
haiku service: on
((( )))
wi-fi enabled
proxy servers configured
haiku completed.
progress
haiku status bar
stuck at sixty-nine percent
oh, wait... there it goes.
homage haiku
fifty years later:
so she starred in those movies
so what? now she's dead.
service
consumed by edge play
we submit to vanilla
ice cream after sex
inimitable haiku
There's this one woman...
(Well, maybe there are a few.)
She is not like them.
portrait of a girl in black (2003)
a blonde and brunette
the stuff of which dreams were made
"...she's a real pot head."
82
lisa's leopard shirt
quite a distraction back then
still is (so it seems)
interpersonal haiku
Should I compare thee
or should I keep my mouth shut?
(If you have to ask...)
aborted haiku
I want to tell you
but if you were to listen...
that wouldn't be good
evil
my hatred of her
burns stronger than did our love
and endures longer
mortar
I think of jenny
laying six feet under ground
teaming with maggots
date
when her response is,
"how did you get this number?"
you know it's not good
value added haiku
female bartender
with that ass in Levi jeans
means serious tips
tray haiku
God passed out lifetimes,
and He admonished the souls:
"Take two. They are small."
delay haiku
live another day.
not today, nor tomorrow...
but some other day.
desolation haiku
a lifetime of thirst
though my cup runneth over
eternity's tears
critical haiku
redefining words
you poets are all alike
eroding the soul
paleolithic haiku
I chiseled this poem
on a hardened clay tablet,
then designed the wheel.
late night haiku
beneath jeans: buttocks!
and more (at least in theory)
the drunker I get...
HaikukiaH
Haiku-u-ukiaH
Haiku-ku u uk-ukiaH
Ukiah-u-haikU
2-step haiku
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:
1) Confirm syllable count.
2) Read as needed.
panic haiku
transmission to mars:
"earthlings using haiku form --
code now obsolete."
cognition haiku
every thirteenth day
I make it a point to think
sometimes I forget
haiku punch card
I limit myself:
only one haiku per day.
any more would be
haiku pathology
They communicate
only in the haiku form.
An odd disorder.
network haiku
password invalid
please reenter password now
access is denied
aquaudio haiku
turn on the water
we need something to drown out
this horrible noise
trailer park haiku
I'm tellin' you what:
I'm a gonna be on Cops
this here Saturday.
horsepower haiku
Today's Chevy trucks
marketed to the rednecks.
Shit-kickin' dumb fucks.
afro haiku
"Girl, I knows you fine.
I'm axin' how you's doin'."
(Did I say something?)
Exhibition: Abstract Variations on Haiku
I. boxed haiku
[ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
[ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
[ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
II. legend haiku
If we use asterisks to represent syllables, our haiku might look like this...
* * * * *
* * * * * * *
* * * * *
III. fine print haiku
|_|_|_|_|_|
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
|_|_|_|_|_|
This poem has a cash value of 1/100 of one cent and may not be redeemed in conjunction with any other haiku, tanka, sonnet, or similar construct as defined under Article 317.B (IV-XIV) of the Literary Code. Any other use may constitute fraud. Void in Iceland, except in regions of the Gnuundärd providence as specified by Amendment 53 of the Mösknvorr Haiku Act of 1983. Clean using a mild nitric acid solution, and place in a bucket of coarse gravel when not in use.
IV. $575
$ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $ $
haiku on the wheels of steel
I. house
needle in the groove
small diamond chip vibrations
sub-bass shakes the floor
II. battle haiku (wheels of steel)
Technics twelve-hundreds
crossfadin' from right to left
cut... cu... cu... cuttin'
III. dj haiku
Spinnin' some ill shit,
"Clarence, my man, I say damn!"
Funky grooves, ya all...
IV. ninja
headz still ain't ready
as dj vadim breaks it
(zen disc 25)
V. get your head down
just like a ninja
cut up... cut up the record
like a samurai
McKu's
#1 - trademark (red and yellow)
extra value meals
under the golden arches
mmm... cholesterol
#2 - please pull ahead
rancid fries need salt
(girl at the drive-thru is hot)
where's my arch deluxe?
#3 - seedy buns
McCoronary
special sauce saturation
with extra cheese, please
Tales of Haiku (A Meta-Suite in 7 Parts)
I. amassing haiku
connect seventeen
monosyllabic phrases
and call it haiku
II. collating haiku
...and she carefully
allocated syllables
among the three lines
III. new haiku
this haiku is new
(it had never been written
until this moment)
IV. haiku's rebuttal
clever passages
syllabically broken
does not make haiku
V. lines
writing one haiku
after another haiku
after another
VI. certification
the Haukuists' Guild
has rebuked my humble verse
as mere syllables
VII. metered haiku
while writing these words
the syllables took over...
she forgot the truth.
academic tanka
...and she carefully
allocated syllables
among the five lines,
embracing the tanka form
for no apparent reason.
dwelling tanka
dare I imagine
what might reside in her heart,
or best I forget
the vacancy in my own
condemned vestige of passion
product tanka
microwavable
Stouffer's Creamed Spinach SIDE DISH
heats in four minutes
Servings Per Container: 2
(Do not prepare in toaster)
collaborative tanka
writing poems is hard
you think I just bang these out?
I'm tellin' you what...
my Muse and I craft these works
(and she don't work cheap neither)
one-line tanka
This first line cannot
with only five syllables...
Or even seven...
This first line cannot express
what now resides in the last.
then
I wrote
something
she didn't write
cast
snow falls
from a gray sky
I watch
love
I feel ashamed
wanting something
I don't deserve
revenge of the interplasm
to read a poem
(like this)
and not be changed
ordeal
I still haven't gotten over her
I don't know why
the myth of still waters
less rope
with which to hang
one's self
the girl
she lied
grave
in times of snow
I remember the cold
dust on her lips